more ?s answered~

Per My last post I found a list of 365 Thought provoking questions. so here are some more with some more of my ansers: 

22.What would you regret not fully doing, being or having in your life? My life is early so I don't really know how to answer this one.  

23. Are you holding onto something that you need to let go of? I have a painting that was given to me that I really just need to throw away due to the fact that it just reminds me of people that I don't really want to talk to or even think of any more. 

24. When you are 80-years-old, what will matter to you the most? When I am 80 I would hope that my family would be the thing that would matter the most. What else would there be but family>?

25. When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards and just do what you know is right?Always! what is right is right and what is wrong is wrong you should never calculate the risk or reward to what is right it should just come to you.

26. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are? I would probably gain a few years. maybe 26-27

27. Would you break the law to save a loved one? No.

28. What makes you smile? Andrew, Cake, music, dance, exc.....

29. When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done? most likely

30. If you had the opportunity to get a message across to a large group of people, what would your message be? Don't drive and Text. (see first post) or No matter how bad things get they can always get better. I would LOVE to be a motivational speaker. with everything that has happened to me I would love to inspire people to keep moving forward. 

31. If the average human lifespan was 40 years, how would you live your life differently? I would push my self to do more every day even though I didn't feel like I wanted to go somewhere or be some place. i would push my self to go and do a lot more things with my life.

32. What do we all have in common besides our genes that makes us human?We all have an enate since of caring for each-other. our family's we all as humans are a family group we love eachother even though we don't always show it.

33. If you could choose one book as a mandatory read for all high school students, which book would you choose? Rich Dad Poor Dad. ~ This book shows the difference in how people think with money and how people think with money and how people think without money. I think that it gives a better idea of the way the economy works throwout the world.

34. Would you rather have less work or more work you actually enjoy doing? More work that I enjoy doing. When you enjoy something you don't want to stop you feel less depressed and you work faster and harder at whatever you are doing.

35. What is important enough to go to war over?Nothing. I don't feel that anything is worth going to war over. I think that every war could be salved with words and not weapons.

36. Which is worse, failing or never trying? Never Trying.~ Failure is the key to success so there for if you fail faster and faster you will succeed faster and more. But if you never try then you will never know and all you can do is think about what could have happened.

37. When was the last time you listened to the sound of your own breathing? It is winter so i would ahve to say sometime this week. You can't help but listen to it when you breath and smog comes out of your mouth. it is rather funny to me, or when you kiss someone. I can't help but listen to my self breath for the fact that i don't want to give my self away or something. I don't know. 

38. What’s something you know you do differently than most people? To be honest I don't know. 

39. What does ‘The American Dream’ mean to you?The American Dream to me is being able to do whatever you want to with your life. If you want to own a house you can go out and do that. you can go out and work and own a house. if you want to The American Dream to me is FREEDOM> and all that you can dream of. You have the capability to go out there and earn your dreams.

40. Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton? Always joyful. so I would have to say a simpleton.~ It doesn't matter how much you know if you are miserable the entire time. Who wants to me miserable there entire life?

41. If you could instill one piece of advice in a newborn baby’s mind, what advice would you give? " Courage is going from failure to failure without loosing enthusiasm."-Winston Churchill 

42. What is the most desirable trait another person can possess? being Forgiving. 

43. What are you most grateful for? My life and family.

44. Is stealing to feed a starving child wrong? This is a strange question due to the fact; 1) Why are you stealing? 2) if you have money then why don't you just feed the child? 3) The starving child that you are with there are many many other ways to give food to people; I would rather buy seeds teach the child to plant and feed he/she for there life time.

45. What do you want most? To be a mother and have the chance to teach a child/children right from wrong and know that they know the difference and then see them make the correct choice.

46. Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things? I would have to say doing things right. I think it is easy to see right from wrong more that people think but then when faced with any day situation the idea of dong it right or wrong is a huge choice. 

47. What has life taught you recently? That i can be loved even with my past and everything that comes with that.

48. What is the one thing you would most like to change about the world? if I only had the chance to change one thing in the world and only one. I would make the world a money free society were people traded there goods with each other and had equal shares of all. That would salve world hunger, war, discrimination exc.....

49. Where do you find inspiration? I find inspiration in people who have not given up on there dream and who not only have not given up on there dream but expand there dreams and help others to build and achieve there dreams. To me that is inspiring.

50. Can you describe your life in a six word sentence? yes I would have to say it would be:
'Growth happens daily, slowly but inspiring.' ~ Yours truly ME



Well I will answer more later. After all there are 365 and I am only at number 50.

365 Thought Provoking Questions~

Per my last post you all got the basic of my past history. There are some things that were not it but we will get to a lot of those later.
So I found this list of 365 Questions and I felt like answering them. The best way to get to know someone is to ask and get a response so here goes nothing.  As of this post I am only answering 21 of them because like the list says it is a VERY thought provoking list of questions and 21 was all I felt that I could answer right now, but here they are;

1. When was the last time you tried something new?~ Just a few days ago, With the VNS (the last thing I talked about in my last post) There is a magnet that you can use when you feel the need for an extra "boost" to keep you from having a seizure. It was a scary thought thinking about using it but after I felt relieved that it wasn't harsh and it didn't hurt and it made me feel a little better. It is amazing what they can do now a days with technology.
                                                                                   
2. Who do you sometimes compare yourself to? ~ Most of the time I compare my self to women in my area who have children who don't have any medical issues, and have a house of there own. Most of the time they are women who when I am around them they don't even talk to me and although I wish they did they don't and I in a small way envy there life. I know that I will have a family one day (sooner than later, I got engaged on December 17th to the most AMAZING MAN!!!!!!! and we have already named our non-existent children) but even with everything sometimes it is hard not to look around me and see others who have my dream. All I can do is keep reminding my self that I will have it one day.

3.What’s the most sensible thing you’ve ever heard someone say?~ Courage is going from failure to failure without loosing enthusiasm -Winston Churchill ~ It is so true. Sometimes courage is waking up in the morning after a bad day the day before and just going because, or loosing a deal and moving on to the next deal as if it were the first deal and being happy the entire time. Courage is such a simple thing as being happy and moving forward. That is why people love all the stories about people who have been in horrible situations and keep going because they do it with a smile and they don't give up. If you don't stop what ever it is you are trying for will come to you. Sometimes it takes a little longer than others but it will come to you. It just takes some Courage and persistence.

4. What gets you excited about life?~To be honest being a mother one day. I would love to be a mother and be able to do what my mother has done for me for a child. I would love to adopt a child because of what my father has done for me. Family that is what excites me about life. The fact that I have one here and that I can be with my family for eternity. To me that is exciting.
 
5. What life lesson did you learn the hard way?~you can't always trust everyone but you still need to have open arms for everyone. There is a long story behind this one and not something that I feel everyone needs to know but just know if you are reading this that I am always good for a hug if needed.

6. What do you wish you spent more time doing five years ago?~ Going back to school. Now that I am doing MUCH better from my wreck and brain surgery's and other surgery's I am talking about going back to school but if I had gone back after my wreck then I would be done now and it wouldn't be an extra burden on my life or my soon to be family's life

7. Do you ask enough questions or do you settle for what you know?~ I think this is a little 50/50. Sometimes I think I ask too many questions, and then others I think that I just stay quiet for fear of what I might say or what someone might say back to me. Sometimes when you ask questions you need to be prepared for the answers you are going to get and not always are they happy. To me it is a bit of a fear that I will ask something and the person I ask will say something that I don't know how to handle or something that I feel I need to say something to someone else about, (I don't like to tattle on people)

8. Who do you love and what are you doing about it? I love a lot of people. I love my MOM, she after all has been the only person who has been there for me for all 24 years of my life who has never given up on me even when I thought that I had given up on my self; what am I doing about this? I could be doing a lot more... I know she hates doing the dishes and I most defiantly could do these more for her, other than that I do just try to tell her and help clean things and such: I love my DAD, he is the one who married my mom even though she had me, a two year old girl at that time, he is am amazing father and I couldn't have asked for a better man to raise me; What about I doing about this..... he doesn't live around me but I do call him and try to talk to him, Although when I do call him I could be nicer about the fact that him and my mom are no longer together and that he talks to my brothers more than me: I love my three younger brothers, They are crazy but funny; what am I doing about this.... I try to be a good example for them in all aspects of my life my relationships, my Sunday church activities, (I am LDS or Mormon so going to church even if no one comes with me), And I am always here if they need to just talk or anything like that; I love Andrew, my AMAZING fiance. He still amazes me at the fact that how much he inspires me to be a better person and just puts a smile on my face every time I am near him or even think about him; what am I doing about this.... well I am marring the man lol but we talk every day and we made a promise that every night I would tell him good night. I know I know it sounds silly but meh it is my way of showing him that I love him! : I love all of my extended brothers and sisters, I think that the plan of salvation is just amazing and so well thought out it is hard not to love you all! ; What am I doing about this? well I KNOW that I could be nicer to some of you but then others of you I don't know so for you well I am sorry I don't know you but I can't wait to get to know you.

9.What’s a belief that you hold with which many people disagree? I believe that you should trust a person until they break that trust. If you don't give people the option to hold to that trust then they will always let you done, but If you give them trust more people will stand up to your trust just for the fact that you gave them the opportunity to be trusted. ~ YES this has gotten me into some trouble before but others it has been a wonderful thing.

10.What can you do today that you were not capable of a year ago? I can wake up in the morning and look at my self in the mirror and say, "Diane you are beautiful, even with everything that has happened to you, they are not you they are things that have happened to you. Only you can decide who you are and you are beautiful"

11. Do you think crying is a sign of weakness or strength? Strength always! Everyone gets to that point of feeling so down that they need to relieve it in some way, when someone cries I feel it is a sign of strength, Strength in them selves, strength that they will over come it in the long run ( you can only cry for so long) but when you don't cry you are keeping all of that inside of you. I feel that is the true weakness. Being vulnerable is not a weakness but a strength. It shows that you are in need of help and sometimes we all need help.

12. What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you? I would cut off all my hair~ I have had my hair buzz cut for my brain surgery's but I would shave it all off, like baby butt soft short. I think it is amazing how so many women who go threw chemo and everything deal with it every day and they feel like they need to hid there heads. I would just shave it and go with it. I think that it would be freeing and to be able to stand for something like that is amazing to me.

13. Do you celebrate the things you do have? YES!!!! Every night when I pray I thank the lord for everything that I have, for my family, for my friends, exc.....

14. What is the difference between living and existing? I feel that when you are living you are making a change in others lives, when you are existing you are just focused on your self. I feel that we need to be growing every day in some way shape or form. Someone once said "we are NOT human beings we are humans becoming" I love this because when you are becoming something you are growing, sometimes this is physically sometimes this is mentally, and sometimes this is emotionally but we are always growing there for we are living. When you you are existing you are being a human being. You are not growing in any way shape or form you are just staying there not learning. To be this is sad.

15. If not now, then when?~ As the candy says " Now and later" it is always time It just depends on when YOU personally are ready. To each person that is different.

16. Have you done anything lately worth remembering? Sadly no. I need to do some more for my community or even just a single person. but something remembering, not that I feel is worth remembering

17. What does your joy look like today? My Joy today looks like a warm sunset with the sun almost down, and the horizon is a bright warm peach color with red in it. My joy looks like a smile for eternity and feels like a hug.

18. Is it possible to lie without saying a word? YES, I feel that sometimes saying nothing is a lie

19. If you had a friend who spoke to you in the same way that you sometimes speak to yourself, how long would you allow this person to be your friend? because of the type of person that I am, I would be sad and not like being around them but every time they called me I would still say yes lets hang out because I don't see the point in saying no. If that's what they wanted to do was point out all my flaws then I would most likely let them and just smile and listen. =(

20.What activities make you lose track of time? The first thing that comes to mind is hanging out with my fiance, He is just so funny that when I am with him it is like time stands still and then the next thing I know it is midnight and he has to go home... Sometimes work, When I get into my work I could just stay and work for hours and hours and just not care what time it was or that I only had an 8 hour shift....

21. If you had to teach something, what would you teach? I would LOVE to teach Middle school

Well I got to 21~ I will answer more questions later. I hope this gave you a little better inside into the mind of ME.

/HUG

Car Wreck/Brain Sugery/epilepsy/and ME

Before Everything Happened

My Wreck

Me Before the VNS

Well I have decided that I need to tell what has happened to me to the world, whom ever you are.

There are a few things that you need to know about me first though. You know that person in High school that never missed a single day no matter how bad the weather was, That was me.

My Sr. year of High school I was duel enrolled in high school and the closest state University to me. There were two other students who came with me to the university after lunch. Well On January 20th, 2006 the weather wasn't looking that great but like I said earlier I went to school anyway.

After the first half of my day in high school me and one of the two other students left for the university to go to class, (one of the three of us had stayed home; she was being smart that day). As we pulled out of the high school parking lot we hit some black Ice and slid a little bit.

The other student and I look at each other and had the "is your seat belt on" conversation. Then we kept on our way. Less that a mile latter I got a text oh my cell phone, (smart me I picked it up to look who it was from) just as I reached for it my car started to slide and by the time I had both hands on the wheel again it was too late. We had hit the ditch and were rolling into the frozen corn field.

When the car stopped rolling my head was at the feet of the other student and my car was on its side. Now I was driving an older Geo Tracker and just like some older cars if you dont push the seat belt in just right with some pressure they will come off. Lucky me I guess mine came off and in the roll I ended up hitting my head on the frozen ground and landing at my friends feet.

With all of the blood my friend went into shock. It is a scary thing when you realize that you cant move but you know that you need to do something or you will die. Between the two of us we were able to fine my cell phone and call 911.

The other thing you should know about me is the town that I went to high school in was about 30 minutes away from the nearest hospital and to get to the university you had to take the back roads. So not only was I on a back road but i was over 30 minutes away from a hospital and the weather was bad.

As we called 911 there were two sophomore students who had decided to leave school early and go down the same road as us. They were able to go back to the high school and get help. As they were doing that and we were talking to 911 we found out that today must have been my lucky day. There was an ambulance less than a mile away from us with a full EMT crew on it.

They got to us and Even more luck for me, my dad's best friend was the Charge EMT on the ambulance.
(Now trust me, THERE IS NOTHING MORE STRANGE THAT HAVING ALL OF YOUR CLOTHING CUT OFF OF YOU AND THEN BEING 100% NUDE IN FRONT OF YOUR DAD'S BEST FRIEND!)

We got to the hospital and even more good luck for me, my MOM's Best friend was the Charge Nurse on call at the hospital that they took me too. Some one was looking out for me I dont know why but I am VERY great-full!!!!!

When at this hospital they found out that I had shattered the entire right side of my skull, sliced threw the mussel and tendon in my right eye down to the bone, fracture my right cheek bone, and snapped my left collar bone.

But it gets even better..... This entire time from the time of the wreck to me calling 911 to the hospital I was still wide awake. I can not express to you the amount of pain that you feel when that happens. The hospital that I was at could not fix me so they had to take me to the only trauma one hospital in down state IL. Now from were I was at that is a 3 hour drive during the summer, this was the winter so we were looking at around 5 hours. Due to the weather they could not do a flight for life, (lucky me) So they put be back into an ambulance and drive the 5 hours up to the Children's Hospital of Illinois.

I was so tired but they would not let me sleep for fear that if I did I would go into a coma. They did everything to keep me awake, they called family that I knew, teachers that were in class, anyone and everyone that I said they called and had me talk to to keep me awake on the drive to the Children's Hospital of Illinois.

When we got there my luck just kept getting better, if there was a way to say that on any given day luck was given out to people I would say that I was given most of it on this day.

When we got to the second hospital the number one pediatric neurosurgeon was at the hospital. He was retiring and it was his retirement party it had run late a little bit so he was still there. He decided to postpone his retirement by 6 months to fix my skull. I now have 7 plates and 28 screws in my head (yes I am a little screwie)
And it gets better from there. The plastic surgeon who fixed my eye brow had left his keys on his desk and got back to the hospital only 5 minutes after I got there. At that time he was the head of the department. And then it gets even better from there. The doctor who fixed my collar bone and cheek bone was also the head of his department. He has stayed late talking to a patent and stayed even later to fix me.

Now I dont know if there is a rule for how many good things that can happen to a person in one day but I would have to say that that is a lot. I can't even express how blessed I was/am. And it even gets better than that. Now most people who have the head traumas that I did are in the hospital for weeks even months and have to go threw rehab and such. I on the other hand was only in the hospital for 6 days and never went threw rehab.

Two years later I developed severe Epilepsy to the point of having up to 21-23 grand mall seizures in a single day. They were not controlled by drugs due to the fact it was epilepsy caused by head trauma. So the doctors decided that brain surgery was the best option for me. There is a type of brain surgery were they do what is called Grid Mapping. On October 25, 2010 They removed the plates and screw in my head and placed a mettle grid on my brain so that when I had seizures they could see exactly were in the brain it was coming from. They on the 27th the Doctor went in and removed 1/2 of my right temporal lobe down to my brain stem. yet again I was only in the hospital for about a week.

Sadly This didn't fix it either so with all of this and the medications I am still having seizures. The next step is was is called a VNS or Vegas Nerve Stimulator. The easiest way to explain this is it is a pacemaker for my brain. It sends an electric pulse to my brain for 30 seconds ever 5 minutes, and if need be there is a magnet that I can use on the battery to imply an extra pulse when I feel like I'm going to have a seizure.

I know it all sounds crazy and complicated but I am very blessed and I am here to get my story out there because of everything that has happened because of a single text. My life has change forever.
Threw out the next few days I will finish giving the small portions of my story and the feelings that I have felt because of it.