365 Thought Provoking Questions~

Per my last post you all got the basic of my past history. There are some things that were not it but we will get to a lot of those later.
So I found this list of 365 Questions and I felt like answering them. The best way to get to know someone is to ask and get a response so here goes nothing.  As of this post I am only answering 21 of them because like the list says it is a VERY thought provoking list of questions and 21 was all I felt that I could answer right now, but here they are;

1. When was the last time you tried something new?~ Just a few days ago, With the VNS (the last thing I talked about in my last post) There is a magnet that you can use when you feel the need for an extra "boost" to keep you from having a seizure. It was a scary thought thinking about using it but after I felt relieved that it wasn't harsh and it didn't hurt and it made me feel a little better. It is amazing what they can do now a days with technology.
                                                                                   
2. Who do you sometimes compare yourself to? ~ Most of the time I compare my self to women in my area who have children who don't have any medical issues, and have a house of there own. Most of the time they are women who when I am around them they don't even talk to me and although I wish they did they don't and I in a small way envy there life. I know that I will have a family one day (sooner than later, I got engaged on December 17th to the most AMAZING MAN!!!!!!! and we have already named our non-existent children) but even with everything sometimes it is hard not to look around me and see others who have my dream. All I can do is keep reminding my self that I will have it one day.

3.What’s the most sensible thing you’ve ever heard someone say?~ Courage is going from failure to failure without loosing enthusiasm -Winston Churchill ~ It is so true. Sometimes courage is waking up in the morning after a bad day the day before and just going because, or loosing a deal and moving on to the next deal as if it were the first deal and being happy the entire time. Courage is such a simple thing as being happy and moving forward. That is why people love all the stories about people who have been in horrible situations and keep going because they do it with a smile and they don't give up. If you don't stop what ever it is you are trying for will come to you. Sometimes it takes a little longer than others but it will come to you. It just takes some Courage and persistence.

4. What gets you excited about life?~To be honest being a mother one day. I would love to be a mother and be able to do what my mother has done for me for a child. I would love to adopt a child because of what my father has done for me. Family that is what excites me about life. The fact that I have one here and that I can be with my family for eternity. To me that is exciting.
 
5. What life lesson did you learn the hard way?~you can't always trust everyone but you still need to have open arms for everyone. There is a long story behind this one and not something that I feel everyone needs to know but just know if you are reading this that I am always good for a hug if needed.

6. What do you wish you spent more time doing five years ago?~ Going back to school. Now that I am doing MUCH better from my wreck and brain surgery's and other surgery's I am talking about going back to school but if I had gone back after my wreck then I would be done now and it wouldn't be an extra burden on my life or my soon to be family's life

7. Do you ask enough questions or do you settle for what you know?~ I think this is a little 50/50. Sometimes I think I ask too many questions, and then others I think that I just stay quiet for fear of what I might say or what someone might say back to me. Sometimes when you ask questions you need to be prepared for the answers you are going to get and not always are they happy. To me it is a bit of a fear that I will ask something and the person I ask will say something that I don't know how to handle or something that I feel I need to say something to someone else about, (I don't like to tattle on people)

8. Who do you love and what are you doing about it? I love a lot of people. I love my MOM, she after all has been the only person who has been there for me for all 24 years of my life who has never given up on me even when I thought that I had given up on my self; what am I doing about this? I could be doing a lot more... I know she hates doing the dishes and I most defiantly could do these more for her, other than that I do just try to tell her and help clean things and such: I love my DAD, he is the one who married my mom even though she had me, a two year old girl at that time, he is am amazing father and I couldn't have asked for a better man to raise me; What about I doing about this..... he doesn't live around me but I do call him and try to talk to him, Although when I do call him I could be nicer about the fact that him and my mom are no longer together and that he talks to my brothers more than me: I love my three younger brothers, They are crazy but funny; what am I doing about this.... I try to be a good example for them in all aspects of my life my relationships, my Sunday church activities, (I am LDS or Mormon so going to church even if no one comes with me), And I am always here if they need to just talk or anything like that; I love Andrew, my AMAZING fiance. He still amazes me at the fact that how much he inspires me to be a better person and just puts a smile on my face every time I am near him or even think about him; what am I doing about this.... well I am marring the man lol but we talk every day and we made a promise that every night I would tell him good night. I know I know it sounds silly but meh it is my way of showing him that I love him! : I love all of my extended brothers and sisters, I think that the plan of salvation is just amazing and so well thought out it is hard not to love you all! ; What am I doing about this? well I KNOW that I could be nicer to some of you but then others of you I don't know so for you well I am sorry I don't know you but I can't wait to get to know you.

9.What’s a belief that you hold with which many people disagree? I believe that you should trust a person until they break that trust. If you don't give people the option to hold to that trust then they will always let you done, but If you give them trust more people will stand up to your trust just for the fact that you gave them the opportunity to be trusted. ~ YES this has gotten me into some trouble before but others it has been a wonderful thing.

10.What can you do today that you were not capable of a year ago? I can wake up in the morning and look at my self in the mirror and say, "Diane you are beautiful, even with everything that has happened to you, they are not you they are things that have happened to you. Only you can decide who you are and you are beautiful"

11. Do you think crying is a sign of weakness or strength? Strength always! Everyone gets to that point of feeling so down that they need to relieve it in some way, when someone cries I feel it is a sign of strength, Strength in them selves, strength that they will over come it in the long run ( you can only cry for so long) but when you don't cry you are keeping all of that inside of you. I feel that is the true weakness. Being vulnerable is not a weakness but a strength. It shows that you are in need of help and sometimes we all need help.

12. What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you? I would cut off all my hair~ I have had my hair buzz cut for my brain surgery's but I would shave it all off, like baby butt soft short. I think it is amazing how so many women who go threw chemo and everything deal with it every day and they feel like they need to hid there heads. I would just shave it and go with it. I think that it would be freeing and to be able to stand for something like that is amazing to me.

13. Do you celebrate the things you do have? YES!!!! Every night when I pray I thank the lord for everything that I have, for my family, for my friends, exc.....

14. What is the difference between living and existing? I feel that when you are living you are making a change in others lives, when you are existing you are just focused on your self. I feel that we need to be growing every day in some way shape or form. Someone once said "we are NOT human beings we are humans becoming" I love this because when you are becoming something you are growing, sometimes this is physically sometimes this is mentally, and sometimes this is emotionally but we are always growing there for we are living. When you you are existing you are being a human being. You are not growing in any way shape or form you are just staying there not learning. To be this is sad.

15. If not now, then when?~ As the candy says " Now and later" it is always time It just depends on when YOU personally are ready. To each person that is different.

16. Have you done anything lately worth remembering? Sadly no. I need to do some more for my community or even just a single person. but something remembering, not that I feel is worth remembering

17. What does your joy look like today? My Joy today looks like a warm sunset with the sun almost down, and the horizon is a bright warm peach color with red in it. My joy looks like a smile for eternity and feels like a hug.

18. Is it possible to lie without saying a word? YES, I feel that sometimes saying nothing is a lie

19. If you had a friend who spoke to you in the same way that you sometimes speak to yourself, how long would you allow this person to be your friend? because of the type of person that I am, I would be sad and not like being around them but every time they called me I would still say yes lets hang out because I don't see the point in saying no. If that's what they wanted to do was point out all my flaws then I would most likely let them and just smile and listen. =(

20.What activities make you lose track of time? The first thing that comes to mind is hanging out with my fiance, He is just so funny that when I am with him it is like time stands still and then the next thing I know it is midnight and he has to go home... Sometimes work, When I get into my work I could just stay and work for hours and hours and just not care what time it was or that I only had an 8 hour shift....

21. If you had to teach something, what would you teach? I would LOVE to teach Middle school

Well I got to 21~ I will answer more questions later. I hope this gave you a little better inside into the mind of ME.

/HUG